What I Learned in the Past 2 Weeks

I have been housebound for two weeks, and this is what I have learned:

* Brad is very competitive. He will ask me nightly how much TP I use. As if I spend my days counting the sheets. Well, now I do, and he is winning the battle.

* Brad is crazier than I thought. He brought home clippers for me to cut his hair. He asked for a Dre haircut with beautiful tapering to which I said a buzz cut it is.

* I got the better home office, so you know who carries the bigger stick.

* People thought I did not "really" work - WTF. Even Brad commented that he had no idea how much I work.

* I am technology challenged. It took me 4 zoom meetings to do it kind of correctly; I sent a personal text meant for my girlfriends to my senior leadership work team, what are virtual zoom backdrops (seriously what and how), split-screen would be a dream, being asked to mute on zoom. I have no idea what they are asking. I am a guest lecturer for the business school, and I have no idea how to share my PowerPoint.

* I talk to myself all day. I tell myself that I am going to the breakroom for lunch ... is this how The Shining started?

* My online shopping has come to a halt - one word, "Brad."

* Postponing Easter and banning Mag and Jake is going to cost Brad a lot of money since I will need to provide Good Friday and Easter dinner to two locations. Thankfully the UPS man/woman will be the Easter Bunny.

* I can go one full week without washing my hair.

* Is 10 am too early to drink?

* Cutting bangs is harder than you think.

* We have a firm $ limit to stream movies - $5.99.

* I wasted hours of my life watching Tiger King and realizing we need more dentists, hair salons & fashion stylist. And who knew these crazy people are out there? I thought people who owned more than 2 cats were exotic.

* Before long, I will be a nail technician.

* I am better at isolation than Brad.