top of page

Thai Massage ...

Another symptom of my aging is weak hip flexors. Drinking a cocktail on the deck does not seem to strengthen hip flexors - go figure.

I was in pain and walking like a penguin when I thought a Thai massage would be the fix so I went online to schedule an appointment. I heard it was more therapeutic and similar to yoga. I was a little hesitant about the yoga because the only yoga pose I can do is breathing in and out.

I was brought into a room and given Thai massage pants and a cotton blend collared button-down shirt. I knew immediately the buttons would never meet. I was left in the room to get dressed and I was relieved the pants fit (barely), but the shirt not so much. As I was standing in my Thai attire, I surveyed the room. I immediately notice a folding walker and I thought hmmm. There was a mattress on the floor with a sheet and lots of stuff everywhere.

My masseuse walked back in and I immediately told her the shirt was a no go. She told me to take off the shirt and I could use a sheet!!! I am guessing my next designer will be Omar the tentmaker. She held up the shirt, looked at the size and she said to no one as if she was thinking out loud, "This shirt so big, why it don’t fit you?". I told her my boobs are too big and she said, "You lucky, people pay big money for that". With that, she told me to lay on the matt boob side down.

If you have not had a Thai massage, they not only dig in with their elbows, fingers, and feet, but they also pull and stretch you. Midway thru my massage, I thought surely the folding walker was for me to use so I could walk to my car.

Then this little thing picks up the walker, slammed it next to my ears and started walking on my back. I was thinking OK and then she dug her heel and TOE everywhere which kind matched her roaming fingers while stretching my legs. I seriously thought we were engaged at the end of the session.

bottom of page