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The FedEx Boy

August 1, 2018

 

My FedEx delivery man stopped by the office to drop off my blouse and sweats. Pretty sure he is in love with me. 

 

I started to get my Nordstrom Anniversary sale goodies and could no longer wait for someone to snap pictures so you all will just have to take what I can give for the moment. I used all my America's Next Top Model poses and I am not sure Tyra would be proud.  

 

It dawned on me to google how to take fashion selfies to post on blog sites. Well that was a hilarious effort. One tiny girl YouTube blogger after another showing me how to strike the perfect pose to look skinny which I am pretty sure sticking one foot in front of the other and popping a hip will never make me look skinny.  My balance does not allow for one foot in front of the other without falling over and my hips pop, but not deliberately it just happens when your hips are big. They gave great tips to look sexy and I absolutely look sexy as hell in my sweatpants and hoodie. Those sweats are so unbelievably soft and comfy that I would have jumped into bed in a second -  to take a nap. These girls could wrap their long, skinny legs around their necks, stand on their heads and they would look skinnier and sexier than my photos.

 

Apparently my FedEx boy is happy with my reading glasses and belly because he came into my office super excited to see me. I am not kidding, he was practically gushing. He told me I was his favorite stop to which I sucked in my belly and took off my reading glasses to thank him. He asked if I had a good weekend and he proceeded to tell me he had family in town visiting and just the boys were left and then he winked at me. He then said he hopes he will be able to deliver more packages to me and I assured him I saw more deliveries in his future. He gave me a big smile and said he hopes so because I am his favorite stop and he cannot wait to see me again. Does this mean we are engaged? Maybe I should download my sexy sweatpants and hoodie photo for him to put in his wallet? 

 

I have been telling Brad for years that I am a hot commodity and someone was going to scoop me up. I knew it would only be a matter of time ... just did not know it would be the FedEx boy. 

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