• Rebecca Fell

It's Official I Am NOT Zoomable



I work for a University, and the business school asked me to be a guest lecturer for a real estate class. I gleefully accepted because I was going to impart my wisdom onto our youth.

We are in unprecedented times where zoom is how we are doing business. I have felt a little awkward zooming, and maybe it is my age or the lack of practice. This is not a good place to be when you need to zoom your lecture to 60 students.

I am giving kudos to my niece Megan and her friend Sarah who gave me zoom quick tips, Mag and Jake, for expanding on those tips and my dear friend, Robin, who photoshopped my picture. It takes a village people; it takes a village.

I got up this morning a little nervous about my lecture. I did some exercise to give me a glow, and I even washed and straightened my hair and "gasp" put on a cute sweater along with earrings. I really kicked it up a notch to put my best zoom foot forward, and I was ready to educate 60 college students.

I joined zoom with no problem, and then it was my turn. I kind of giggled, asking for forgiveness for my lack of zoom experience and technology skills. I was able to share my first slide deck (thank you, Sarah and Megan). I am just chatting away until I see my chat line blink. WTF is that? No one told me about chat (I take back my thank you, Sarah, Megan, Maggie & Jake). While I am speaking, I open up the chat to read except I stopped talking because I cannot read, figure out how to operate and lecture at the same time. After a few minutes of silence, the host says, " Rebecca, are you still there." I get all out of sorts and say Oh, just trying to read the chat. To this day, I have no idea if one of the students was telling me to F*** Off or Have a nice day.

I proceed to my second set of slides effortlessly, and I am on a roll. Then I tell them I will show a video, except I have no idea how to show the video. So I spend time uncomfortably giggling saying it is here somewhere and even reach out to the professor's assistant for help ... no help was given. So we go into a Q&A session. THERE ARE NO QUESTIONS. You read that right, 60 students, and no questions. So the professor, his assistant, and there happen to be another guest lecturer auditing my lecturer who graciously asked me softball questions.

After about 5 minutes of awkward questions and silence, I figured out how to share my video. Because I am super smart, I had instrumentals from Spotify ready to play except I did not have a track-ready and was just going to wing it. I played Herb Albert's Chattanooga Choo Choo, which is a soundtrack of farting. YEP, that is how I ended my lecture on the sound of farts.

When I went back to the zoom video and could see all 60 of these bright students, they were slumped over as if they had been sleeping. The professor made some gracious remarks, and I said that I welcome the students to visit me on campus, and then I remembered we were not on campus. THEN I said, I will be leaving the zoom meeting now.

I went downstairs to the kitchen and told Brad to make me a drink fast. He asked how my lecture went and when I told him not 1 of the 60 students asked me a question, he said that means your lecture was so clear as to leave no room for questions. You gotta love that man. I sent Jake a text, and he said, "Oh, Really?". Then he followed up with it is harder online; you know harder to pay attention. Yes, Jake, it is hard to ask questions when you are sleeping.

I grabbed my drink and told Brad that it was okay because none of those students will have jobs when they graduate anyway! To which the pure love of my life said... "Becky, there are not enough kilowatts in Zoom to capture your personality."

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