Men O Pause
Menopause is when men take a pause to look for a younger woman. There are 34 physical symptoms of menopause - look it up. I would list them, but that would be too depressing.
One of the big symptoms is weight gain; although electric shock sensation is pretty big. I look at a stick of celery and I gain 5# and god forbid I actually eat it. After my tennis match last night, I longingly looked, but did not touch the table with steak sandwiches, cookies and chocolate; although, I did hit the cooler pretty hard which brings me up to my next point.
What happen to the days I could tie one on then hop up, go to work and be functional? Those days are long gone along with my reproductive capabilities.
Men on the other hand have a midlife crisis. Mother Nature's way of reminding men to reevaluate their lives that sends them directly into a teenage-like rebellion. Men reward themselves with a shiny new car, new woman or a sabbatical from life while women are rewarded with vaginal dryness.