WELCOME TO BROKEN CHAIRS, DIETS & HABITS

Last night was the end of tennis league season for me. The best part of league tennis is talking and laughing with the team after the match while slugging a beer, margarita, and wine. Tracey's mom joined us and agreed Après Tennis is the best part; although, I am actually kind of shocked her best part was not watching me lose my match. During Après Tennis, we talk about our lives which pretty much centers around our children and husbands. Parenting is filled with pressure and the nagging doubt that we are screwing everything up. Oh God then add the silent competition - Division amongst moms starts early. Which mom is doing it best and which mom is doing it worst. Which moms have top achievi

Bye Felicia - Bye to all my crazy hang ups. I am not kicking all my craziness off the crazy train because well that would just be crazy. 1. I am giving up the need to be perfect. There is no need for me to strive for the perfect body since it would take lots of surgery and money at this point. Who cares if I have a dust ball collection taking residence or I use plastic bags and sometimes plastic straws (gasp). Being Martha Stewart was too much stress and keeping up with the latest fashion trends in my varying sizes was depleting my bank account. So what if my kids did not go to Harvard and they do stupid things that encourage my love for adult beverages. Because I am a giving person it is o

Brad cut his trip short by one day - he was afraid I was having too much fun and spending too much money. Guilty as charged! Sunday was my mother's one year anniversary of her death so to celebrate my mom's life, I posted her picture. She was around 45 years old in this picture and very proud of her fashion sense. We will forgive her eyeglass selection. My mother's biggest regret was gaining weight during her last two pregnancies. She even told me she was skinny till she had me. I held onto that comment forever to mean as a fetus and infant I was responsible for her weight gain. I know this is ridiculous, but then so are most of my weight/body issues. Forty year later, I realize the comment

Don't do it ... This what I say every time I decide it is a good idea to exercise or I think it would be fun to show my boobs at a party. Don't buy it ... This is Brad's mantra, but not mine! Although I have to remind myself when I have an item in my hand and I am vacillating, it is a clear sign from the fashion fairies to put it down and walk away. Do I do that? Nope Don't wear it ... When I make a regret buy, I torture myself as well as everyone else around me and wear the item. This could also apply to my affinity for anything sparkly. I never met a sparkle I didn't like. Don't eat it ... When Brad and I lived in NJ, a couple invited us to their super bowl party. Brad and I were the only

I am out of control and I like it ... So last night I met up with girlfriends for a movie. We decided to meet for drinks and snacks before the movie. When you get to the restaurant 40 minutes ahead of your girlfriends, you have to order 2 glasses of wine because that is what a girl's gotta do. Since the restaurant does not have a plate of celery on their menu, what is a girl gotta do? She gotta eat the bar food and then ask for seconds. As you all know, I have a fear of exercise. The theater is behind the restaurant which is about 200 feet away. Obviously I would need to park outside the restaurant and then drive to the movie theater. I made my friend Eve drive to the movie theater with me w

Brad is at a conference in Boston and that means lots of eating, drinking and shenanigans for Becky. Also I get to watch Housewives of Whatever City, and Say Yes to the Dress all day long without any complaining. It's the little things ... Mag and I went to a beautiful wedding Saturday night and they had a cookie bar!!! Typically the cookie table comes out at the end of the evening after everyone has eaten or sometimes they keep the cookie table covered and unveil after the meal. Sweet baby Jesus the cookies were brought out with the appetizers. I got on my knees and cried because I love me some cookies. I literally overdosed into a cookie coma. I am so pathetic and have no cookie self-contr

OK my personal and work life is getting in the way of my blog!!! BUT I AM BACK with a cocktail and a beer in my hand. Everytime something happens and I get my panties in a twist, Brad tells me to blog about it (because he does not want to hear about it). Since Brad is a wise man and pissed me off last night, I am taking his advice. I have been on a mission to get rid of the honey oak in our house and enter the 21st century. The last oak was our stairwell and the interior of our front door and sidelights. I told Brad I was going to paint the front door and stain the sidelights, but what should we do with the stairs - replace or paint/stain. He said pretty much verbatim, "Those stairs are pre

Every once in a while the stars align and life is pretty darn good. I live for weekends and I try and get as much in (my mouth) as possible. When I got on the scale this morning and saw I only gained .4# well praise the lord because that is damn near a miracle. I am going to push my luck and go for a maintain on scale next weekend or is that crazy talk? We got to spend Friday and Saturday night with great friends celebrating because that is what you do when it is the weekend. You gotta love when you have friends who can cook and keep you hydrated!! We got farm fresh eggs Saturday night so Brad made me a beautiful French omelet with sliced heirloom tomatoes from our garden on Sunday morning.

Why do I weigh myself daily? I weigh myself daily to stay accountable; otherwise. I will go rogue. Dealing with the magical overnight weight gain is part of the fun. I have read 1 pound of fat contains 3,500 calories; therefore if you eat/drink an extra 500 calories for 7 days you will gain a pound. In Becky language that equates to an extra margarita or 2 extra craft beers every night. Life is a bitch! Here is a list of reasons for scale fluctuation: 1. Ate more sodium - Note to self leave the salt off the margarita rim 2. Plumbing is backed up - I beg your pardon, but I have excellent plumbing 3. Almost that time of the month - That ship sailed a long time ago 4. You hit the gym hard - Th

If you know me or read my blog, you know I love to play tennis. Before you get all like I thought you do not like to exercise - I don't. I play doubles. I take my solid square on the court and expect my double's partner to get all the other balls. Ask the girl in the green skirt in the middle of this photo since she is one of my three partners. My partners are required to do lots of running and I have been on a losing streak; therefore, I have to rotate my partners. I shit you not, I cannot win a tennis match even if I broke my opponent's legs which now that I think about it may be a good strategy ... hello Tanya? My team knows the best part of my game is drinking beer afterwards ... for a v

There was a lot of scrolling to find a picture of me exercising. Funny thing I have lots of pictures with my family and friends exercising ... again a viewer and not a doer. I hate exercise - I want to like exercise and I visualize myself exercising, but that is as far as I go. For those that live in or around Boulder, Colorado you understand the pressure to be thin and fit. Obviously I do not cave into pressure. My non exercise life is not for lack of support. So many people have tried to help me with exercise. Giving me ideas and offering to make me a plan or even sacrificing themselves to exercise with me. I was at a bridal shower this past Sunday and sat next to a sweet woman who told us

I am giving you my G rated guilty pleasure so the title may be a little misleading. I am obsessed with watching cooking shows. Our bedroom is my ironing room, painting my fingernails room, hiding from Brad room and lots of other things room. Sunday mornings are my ironing day and I was watching a cooking show. Brad walked in laid on the bed and asked me why I watch these shows when I do not even cook. He is just like Captain Obvious or maybe he is hoping I will be inspired which we know will never happen since my motto is can to the man. I have the same fascination with home design/renovation shows. I am no closer to picking up a frying pan than I am a hammer and yet I am addicted to watchin

Menopause is when men take a pause to look for a younger woman. There are 34 physical symptoms of menopause - look it up. I would list them, but that would be too depressing. One of the big symptoms is weight gain; although electric shock sensation is pretty big. I look at a stick of celery and I gain 5# and god forbid I actually eat it. After my tennis match last night, I longingly looked, but did not touch the table with steak sandwiches, cookies and chocolate; although, I did hit the cooler pretty hard which brings me up to my next point. What happen to the days I could tie one on then hop up, go to work and be functional? Those days are long gone along with my reproductive capabilities.

My FedEx delivery man stopped by the office to drop off my blouse and sweats. Pretty sure he is in love with me. I started to get my Nordstrom Anniversary sale goodies and could no longer wait for someone to snap pictures so you all will just have to take what I can give for the moment. I used all my America's Next Top Model poses and I am not sure Tyra would be proud. It dawned on me to google how to take fashion selfies to post on blog sites. Well that was a hilarious effort. One tiny girl YouTube blogger after another showing me how to strike the perfect pose to look skinny which I am pretty sure sticking one foot in front of the other and popping a hip will never make me look skinny. My